Mental Health Blog - 10th October 2019

 Mental Health Blog - 10th October

So it's #mentalhealthday and I have been thinking how am I since my last post. Also, all the posts my friends posted and I think it is amazing that people are feeling safe to share. It's such a great thing...

Today my emotions are under the surface and I am not really interacting with them. I am acknowledging them but, I am keeping them out of reach. Not out of choice - my subconscious is in control at the moment.

I think being back in Cornwall (visiting my Mum) was once a place that was so bright for me. Now makes me feel sad and irritation. 

When I am here I try not to think about my breakdown and the months surrounding it. However, since Cornwall is kinda timeless nothing changes. I can find myself in an memory extremely quickly and since the good and the bad are in the same places. I just find myself a bit overloaded. It might explain why I've been sleeping so much. The weather hasn't helped, but thank fuck it isn't foggy as I think I would be losing my shit. Cause, when I had my breakdown it was thick fog for 3 weeks. I couldn't see more than 20ft from my window. I was messing with my head so much I wondered if I had killed myself and I was purgatory. Diazepam and sleeping pills I don't think helped with that thought process. *Shudder*

I am a lot better, one day I will get past it and I will be stronger.

 I am glad that people are coming forward with their stories. You guys are amazing! Proving my point that you are never alone.